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Just a few simple truths we learn on the road of life…

1. The route to our destination is never a straight one. – We take questionable turns and we get lost.  But it doesn’t always matter which road we embark on; what matters is that we embark.  Either way life will likely get a little complicated, and bring unexpected hurdles and changes.  But that’s okay.  Sometimes you have to stumble and feel weak for a little while to realize how strong you really are.  Read Tuesdays with Morrie.
2. Real friends won’t ask you to change who you are. – The RIGHT people for you will love all the things about you that the WRONG people are intimidated by.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be patient, keep being your awesome self, and pretty soon the RIGHT people will love the REAL you.
3. Cheating is a choice, not a mistake, and not an excuse. – If you decide to cheat, and you succeed in cheating someone out of something,don’t think that this person is a fool.  Realize that this person trusted you much more than you ever deserved, and they learned a lesson about who you really are.
4. The past can’t hurt you anymore – not unless you let it. – Forgive and move on!  Forgiveness allows you to focus on the future without combating the past.  Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed, and moving on can never be accomplished.  What happened in the past is just one chapter.  Don’t close the book, just turn the page.  Cry when you must and push forward.  Let your tears water the seeds of your future growth and happiness.
5. Adversity will come to every person at some point. – How you meet it, what you make of it, and what you allow it to take from you and give to you is determined by your mental habits and personal choices.  In short, you can’t change the cards you were dealt, just how you play the hand.  Read The Last Lecture.
6. Sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together. – When things fall apart, consider the possibility that life knocked it down on purpose.  Not to bully you, or to punish you, but to prompt you to build something that better suits your personality and your purpose.
7. Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right. – Keep an open mind.  The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know.  We all have our own unique path and feelings.  When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.  It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.
8. Everything has been just the way it needed to be. – In life, we do lots of things.  Some we wish we could take back.  Some we wish we could relive a thousand times.  All of these things, positive and negative, have taught us important lessons and have collectively made us into the person we are today.  If we were to reverse or adjust any of them, we wouldn’t be who we are; we would be somebody else.  So just live, make mistakes, make memories, and take chances.  Never second guess who you are or where you’ve been.
9. Silence is often the loudest cry. – There’s always some truth behind ‘just kidding,’ knowledge behind ‘I don’t know,’ emotion behind ‘I don’t care,’ and pain behind: ‘It’s okay.’  So pay close attention to how people feel, especially those you care for most.  And remember, silence is often the loudest cry.  Sometimes what a person needs most is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
10. The difference between where you are and where you want to be, is what you do. – What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.  Don’t wait until everything is just right; it will never be perfect.  There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions.  But with each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more skilled, more confident, and more successful.  So start doing what you need to do today.  Life is a courageous journey or nothing at all.  We usually can’t become who we want to be by continuing to do what we’ve been doing.  Read The Power of Habit.
11. It’s not who you are that holds you back, it who you think you’re not. – Judging yourself is not the same as being honest with yourself.  Don’t sell yourself short!  You are capable of great things.  And don’t ever let someone else make you feel like you’re not good enough.  If they can’t see how amazing you are, then they’re the one who’s not good enough for you.  Their approval is not needed.
12. Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. – Smile through the hard times, even though it doesn’t always seem to get any better.  A smile is the first step to fixing things.  The trick is to enjoy life by noticing what’s right.  Don’t wish away your days waiting for better times ahead.  Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  Don’t miss it.

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Take everything you’ve ever learned – all the crazy experiences
and lessons – and place it all in a box labeled “Thank you.”

What has life taught you?  Think about all the things you would love to tell yourself if you could travel back in time to give your younger self some advice about life.

This is what our sister site, Everyday Life Lessons, is all about.  Here’s a fresh sample of our favorite life lessons that were recently published on the site:

1. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.
2. In life, you usually get what you ask for, but it rarely comes in the package you think it’s supposed to come in.
3. Never let one bad day make you feel like you have a bad life.
4. Just because today is a terrible day doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be the best day of your life.  You just got to get there.
5. Tell the truth, or eventually someone will tell it for you.  Read The Four Agreements.
6. A mistake is an accident.  Cheating and lying are not mistakes.  They are intentional choices.
7. Sometimes the person you want most is the person you’re better off without.
8. Some people cannot stand that you’re moving on with your life, and so they will try to drag your past to catch up with you.  Do not help them by acknowledging their behavior.  Keep moving forward.
9. Surround yourself with positive people who are going to push you toward greatness.  Eliminate those who are trying to keep you from it.
10. Don’t let something that doesn’t matter cause you to lose something thatdoes.
11. Sometimes people aren’t who they seem to be, and sometimes people are so much more than you originally thought.
12. Loving someone isn’t just about saying it every day, it’s showing it every day in every way.
13. Maturity is not when we start speaking about big things, it’s when we start understanding the small things.
14. Of all the things that can be stolen from you – your possessions, your youth, your health, your words, your rights – what no one can ever take from you is your freedom to choose what you will believe in, and who and what your heart will love.
15. When you can forgive yourself and others and stop the imprisonment, you’re creating the love of your life.
16. Not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
17. Age wrinkles the body.  Quitting on your dreams wrinkles the soul.
18. The past can’t hurt you anymore – not unless you let it.
19. Holding on to the unchangeable past is a waste of energy, and serves no purpose in creating a better future.
20. Sometimes you’ve got to emotionally let go of the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you, and open the next chapter in your life.
21. The path to our destination is not always a straight one.  We go down the wrong one, we get lost, and we turn back.  But maybe it doesn’t matter which road we embark on.  Maybe what matters is that we embark.
22. It doesn’t matter if you’ve failed or if you’ve been beaten.  All that matters is that you learn something, get back up, and try again.  Because winning is a good feeling, but winning when nobody else thought you could is an awesome feeling.
23. Knowing yourself is one thing, but truly believing and living as yourself is another.  With so much social conditioning in our society, we sometimes forget who we are.
24. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
25. You can grow stronger from the pain if you don’t let it destroy you.
26. Tell the negativity committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.
27. The worst person to be around is the one who complains about everything and appreciates nothing.  Avoid these people at all costs.
28. Live in such a way that if someone decided to speak badly of you, no one would believe it.
29. If you love someone, tell them.  For hearts are often broken by words left unspoken.
30. Life is shorter than it often seems.  Sometimes we are only given a few minutes to be with the ones we love, and hundreds of hours to spend thinking of them.  Cherish the moments you have with your friends and family, because in one single second they can be taken away from you forever.
31. Things change, but the sun always rises the next day.  The bad news: nothing is permanent.  The good news: nothing is permanent.
32. It’s your road, and yours alone.  Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.
33. We often accept the love we think we deserve.
34. If someone can’t accept you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best.
35. Without communication there is no relationship; without respect there is no love; without trust there’s no reason to continue.
36. If you leave someone at least tell them why, because knowing you’re not worth an explanation is even more painful than being abandoned.
37. Speak when you are very angry, and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
38. Choose your words carefully – they can’t be taken back once you give them away.  Harsh words are like bullets – they can leave deep wounds.  And most of the time saying “sorry” is not enough to heal the wounds you leave.
39. Never make a big decision when you’re angry, and never make a big promise when you’re overjoyed.
40. It makes no sense to be second in someone’s life when you know you’re good enough to be first in someone else’s.
41. Take all the time you need to heal emotionally.  Moving on doesn’t take a day; it takes lots of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self.
42. There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough.
43. Sometimes a break from your routine is the very thing you need.
44. When you find yourself cocooned in isolation and despair and cannot find your way out of the darkness, remember that this is similar to the place where caterpillars go to grow their wings.
45. Don’t count the number of friends you have; count the number of friends you can count on.
46. Sometimes, the people who are thousands of miles away from you, can make you feel better than people right beside you.  That’s a sign of love and true friendship.
47. There are times when family are like strangers, and strangers are like family.
48. Life is not about making others happy.  Life is about sharing your happiness with others.
49. When someone tells you, “You’ve changed,” it might simply be because you’ve stopped living your life their way.
50. If you’re lucky enough to have something that makes you different from everybody else, don’t ever change.
51. Know you worth!  When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you’ll never get back.
52. Imperfections are important, and so are mistakes.  You get to be good by learning from your mistakes and you get to be real by being imperfect.
53. The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.
54. The mind is like a parachute.  It doesn’t work unless it’s open.
55. The difference between who you are and who you want to be, is what you do.
56. If you really want to know where your destiny lies, look at where you apply your time.
57. You are where you are right now because of the actions you’ve taken, or maybe the inaction you’ve taken.
58. Be sure to taste your own words before you spit them out.
59. Let the constant growth and improvement in your own life keep you so busy that you have no time left to criticize others.
60. When you try to control everything, you enjoy nothing.  Go for long walks.  Indulge in great conversations.  Question your assumptions.  Love yourself.  Pay attention to the moment.  Be a little crazy.  Count your blessings.  Let go for a little while and just be.
61. Just as we cannot see that a seed has taken root until it breaks through the surface, we cannot always see our own growth happening until it does the same.
62. Don’t ever change just to impress someone.  Change because it makes you a better person and leads you to a better future.
63. Feelings are like waves in the ocean; we can’t stop them from coming, but we can choose which ones to surf.
64. Being happy doesn’t always make us grateful, but being grateful will always make us happy.
65. Smile every chance you get; not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and grateful for all the good things you do have and all the problems you know you don’t have.
66. It’s nice to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s also important to make sure you haven’t lost track of the things that money can’t buy.
67. If you’re finding it hard to be grateful for anything, sit down close your eyes and take a long slow breath and be grateful for oxygen.  Every breath you take is in sync with someone’s last.
68. Life is like a rainbow, you need both the sun and the rain to make its colors appear.
69. It’s better to be alone with dignity than in a relationship that requires you to sacrifice your self-respect.
70. Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.
71. Moving on can mean that you’re making a choice to be happy rather than hurt.  It doesn’t mean that you’re giving up.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
72. Decide to smile and make the best of it; it’s good for your health.
73. Don’t let loneliness drive you back into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with.
74. Love is not about sex, going on fancy dates, or showing off.  It’s about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else can.
75. You don’t need a perfect one.  You just need someone who you can trust – who shows you that you’re the only one.
76. There are people in your life whom you knowingly inspire simply by being you.
77. Everyone says love hurts, but that’s not true.  Loneliness hurts.  Rejection hurts.  Losing someone hurts.  Envy hurts.  Everyone gets these things confused with love; but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again.  Love is the one thing in this world that does not hurt.
78. Real friendship is a promise made in the heart.  Silent.  Unwritten.  Unbreakable by distance.  Unchangeable by time.
79. Good relationships are not just about the good times you share; it’s also about the obstacles you go through together, and the fact that you still say “I love you” in the end.
80. Do small things with huge amounts of love.  You’ll see why.
81. Sometimes people don’t notice the things others do for them until they stop doing them.
82. Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them.
83. Look at yourself and remember, people in far worse situations have done far more difficult things than this.
84. The best thing that you can do in life is follow your intuition.  Take risks.  Don’t just make the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what might happen.  If you do, nothing will ever happen.
85. Most of the time happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power; it comes from good friends and family, and from the quiet nobility of leading a good life.
86. Lying is done with both words and silence.
87. When something bad happens you can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.
88. Don’t waste your time being upset about something you can’t change.  Start again right now and do it better this time.
89. No relationship is ever a waste of time.  If it didn’t bring you what you want, it taught you what you do NOT want.
90. You can’t always be agreeable. That’s how people take advantage of you. Sometimes you have to set boundaries.
91. The road to success is always under construction.
92. Not trying is failing.
93. Don’t be afraid of going slowly; be afraid of standing still forever.
94. The only time you should look back is to see how far you’ve come.
95. Stop wasting time regretting what you did a year ago.  Start doing what you have to do now, so that in a year’s time you won’t regret what you did today.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
96. It’s not how many times you get knocked down, it how many times you get back up.
97. Follow your heart regardless of what others tell you to do.  At the end of the day it’s you that has to live with your decisions, not them.
98. One of the greatest freedoms is truly not caring what everyone else thinks of you.
99. The hardest part about growing is letting go of what you were used to, and moving on with something you’re not.
100. The best things happen when you least expect it.  Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
101. Sometimes you have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting.  Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how it’s meant to be.

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The human mind is wonderful and powerful, but it’s far from perfect.  There are several common judgment errors that it’s prone to making.  In the field of Psychology these are known as cognitive biases, or fallacies in reasoning.  They happen to everyone regardless of age, sex, education or intelligence.

Over the past few months I’ve become fascinated by these biases and fallacies, so I’ve read several books about them.  Today I want to share ten of them with you.  They are the ones I repeatedly notice myself and those closest to me struggling with.  My hope is that you will use the information in this article to pinpoint these destructive patterns in your own thinking, and break free from them before they send you spiraling down the wrong path.

1. Negative self-fulfilling prophecies. – A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that motivates a person to take actions that cause the prediction to come true.  This kind of thinking often tears relationships apart and causes people to fail at their goals.  Here are two typical examples:  1.) A man believes that his relationship with his new girlfriend is “never going to last.”  So he stops putting effort into the relationship, pulls away emotionally, and a month later the relationship fails.  2.) An intelligent undergraduate in the field of health convinces herself that she “doesn’t have what it takes” to become a doctor, so she therefore never completes the prerequisites for medical school, and thus never becomes a doctor.
2. Only taking credit for positive outcomes. – This destructive thinking pattern occurs when we take full credit for our successes, but deny responsibility for our failures.  A perfect example of this can be witnessed in school classrooms across the globe.  When students receive a good grade, they often attribute it to their intelligence and their excellent study habits.  But when they get a bad grade, they attribute some of their failure to a bad teacher, an unfair set of test questions, or a subject matter that “isn’t needed in the real world anyway.”  The bottom line is that in order for a person to grow emotionally, they must be willing to take full responsibility for all of their actions and outcomes – successes and failures alike.
3. Believing we are immune to temptation. – We have far less control over our impulsive desires than we often believe.  Sex, food, and drug addictions are extreme examples of this.  Many addicts believe they can quit anytime they want, but in reality they are simply lying to themselves.  But you don’t have to be an addict to be vulnerable to temptation.  Lots of smart people end up impulsively giving in to temptation simply because it’s the easiest way to get rid of it.  It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true.  If someone wants to get rid of sexual desire, the easiest way is to have sex.  If someone wants to get rid of hunger pain, the easiest way is to eat.  Restraining from impulsive behavior in the face of temptation is not easy; it takes a great deal of self-control.  So be careful, because when we have an inflated sense of control over our impulses, we tend to overexpose ourselves to temptation, which in turn promotes the impulsive behavior we want to avoid.
4. Passing a broad judgment from an isolated incident. – An inaccurate first impression is a decent example of this one.  It’s about our natural human tendency to evaluate a person or situation from a bird’s eye view, and then presume to know enough to pass a reasonable judgment.  This happens a lot in the corporate working world.  A newer employee might show up late to work after experiencing legitimate car trouble, but their boss immediately becomes suspicious that they are not committed and responsible, and treats them as such for several weeks thereafter.  The obvious solution here is to look at the big picture before you start pointing fingers or making assumptions.
5. Believing we can control the uncontrollable. – This thinking fallacy occurs when people begin to believe that they have some kind of direct influence or power over an external event that is completely random.  It is especially evident in the minds of amateur gamblers; especially those who have had a recent string of good luck.  For example, if you flipped a coin and asked someone to guess heads or tails, and they got it right ten times in a row, they might begin to believe that their good luck is confirmation that they have control over the outcome of each flip.  But the truth is that there is always a 50% probability of their answer being correct, and their last ten guesses were pure luck.
6. Ignoring information that does not support a belief. – Psychologists commonly refer to this as the confirmation bias.  We as human beings naturally tend to look for information that confirms and supports our beliefs, and we tend to overlook information that does not.  We are selective in the evidence we choose to collect so that we don’t have to challenge our way of thinking, because it’s easier not to.  This destructive thinking trap is very common, and it can have detrimental effects on our productivity when we make big decisions based on false information.
7. Beginner’s optimism. – Beginner’s optimism is the human tendency to underestimate the time required to complete an unfamiliar task.  It occurs due to a lack of planning and research on behalf of someone who is excited about doing something they have never done before.  In other words, when we get assigned a new task that we are anxious to get started on, instead of delaying the start time to accurately evaluate the level of difficulty and resources required, we simply guess and begin.  Thus, our expectation of the workload is based on raw optimism instead past experience and reliable data.  And it all backfires on us a little later when we find ourselves knee deep in work we were unprepared for.
8. Rebelling simply to prove personal freedom. – Although more common in children, this thinking fallacy can affect people of any age.  It’s basically a person’s urge to do something they have been told not to do, for fear that their freedom of choice is being taken away from them.  This person may not even want to do whatever they are doing to rebel; however, the simple fact that they are not supposed to do it motivates them to do so anyway.  The tactic of reverse psychology is a commonly used method of exploiting this thinking fallacy in others.
9. Judging a person’s capabilities based solely on the way they look. – This happens thousands of times a day worldwide when one person assumes something about another person based on their immediate appearance.  For example, someone might see a tall, well groomed man in his early fifties, wearing a business suit, and instantly assume he is successful and reliable, even though there is zero concrete evidence to support this assumption.  Bottom line:  You can’t judge a book by its cover.
10. Trying to diminish losses by continuing to pursue a previous failure. – Sometimes called the sunk cost fallacy, this is a thinking fault that motivates us to continue to support a previously unsuccessful endeavor.  We justify our decision to continue investing in this failed endeavor based on our cumulative prior investment, despite new evidence suggesting that the cost, starting today, of continuing to pursue it outweighs the expected benefit.  The logical thing to do would be for us to cut our losses and change our course of action.  However, due to the sunk costs we have already invested, we feel committed to the endeavor, so we invest even more time, money and energy into it, hoping that our additional investment will reverse the outcome.  But it never will.